This very moment lasted even longer for weeks – during almost giving up it dawned on me my mental health and yours is stressed more than ever before during our nation’s pandemic.
Have you noticed not very many people are talking about our overall mental health, drug use, suicide as the trigger for tragedy?
In many ways by writing about it is a huge weight off my chest. I can breathe again. Just imagine if others are feeling the same way right now.
For the last several weeks, a very unusual panic-like reaction set in, after I watched any TV news specifically news stories on the Corona Virus. I was becoming very unhealthy and toxic.
The last month I have been on edge unlike period in my life. Very frightening to summarize. My behavior online was mirroring someone who was convinced the world is ending and we will leave behind unused rolls of toilet paper. Scott brand toilet paper to be more exact.
Panic buying in my own family and phone calls pressuring me to stock food in my home for an entire month was also daily stress in my life and quite possibly yours.
Another panic attack trying to digest how my mom and stepdad dropped nearly $1,000 only on food. All bought in 3 days.
Then suddenly a mad rush to the store I go for impulse buying on anything and everything I can grab.
I hurried home to open first a bag of Doritos (ranch flavor of course) I have not eaten chips of any kind in close to twenty years. The entire bag is all consumed in under 30 mins.
I find myself racing to prepare and eat all eight hot dogs layered with chili.
Not only is my mental health now in question – but also depression and addiction urge.
I became even more worried and start eating everything in sight.
Looking back on the last few weeks it’s shy of a miracle I did not disappear for a month on a drug use binge.
I was turning into a monster for allowing fear to take control. How quick fear from a pandemic was able to control part of my mind. Discouraged and wanting answers I reached out to my doctors.
Never before in my life have I had this much anxiety and constant worry.
The tension between family did not help matters.
More than ever before I needed all my willpower to be a strong man -the one I was before the lockdown.
I bought a brand new fancy bike and hit the pavement for an all-day affair in long rides to clear my mind.
During all of this, my life was almost controlled by a level of terror. I wondered just how many people went through a similar experience over the last few weeks.
I wanted to let you know things will be okay.
What would happen in your life if you turned off all news for a few days or a week?
It’s quite liberating to not stay connected to any news outlets and that’s where this story takes a turn with a much better ending.
The last few weeks were a level I never want to live through again.
We are all being tested and just how long will you continue what feels like a social experiment.
All around you and me a world on lockdown and no place for our minds to rest.
AA meetings are not the same without the close personal contact.
During all of this I was scared in thinking I could relapse and lose all control.
I wanted to use my platform to be a voice because I know this is the best way to be a positive change.
A little comfort for others with nowhere to turn because the community they once knew is under an order to comply with a lockdown.
The toll this can take on the body, mind, the spirit is far greater than anyone could imagine.
Please contact your local elected officials to tell them to end the lockdown.
Reach out to someone you know or never met and ask them if they are doing ok. Nobody asked me this question and I wanted to know why nobody was asking how are you doing. Their mind was controlled by the media is some capacity.
It’s one theory. You read this entire article and I could say I controlled your mind and the way you will think next.
Stay strong. Don’t be afraid to get a mental health check. Fight any depression and continue sober living during a moment in our lives we have been introduced to a virtual culture.
I want you to consider buying a bike. Pickup a running group in your community. Take advantage of your neighborhood park system.
I am fairly confident you will enjoy adding a new routine in your life. Track your progress and let me know how are you? I really want to know.
If the media can control your mind what else are they capable of? Let’s have a conversation. Connect with me @ScottFordTVGuy.